Healing Through self-love
Loving yourself isn't a thinking process of repeating affirmations, or anything projected outwardly. Discovering the Self, Atman, or soul comes when one becomes the observer of the thinking mind, and eventually extinguishing the ego. This may take some time to develop through meditation or self-inquiry. As these thoughts arise one can become frustrated that these thoughts continue, thus stopping the inquiry as the frustration now becomes an egoic thought, by the act of judging. When in meditation or self-inquiry it's important to let the thoughts arise and not judge them. Simply observe the with compassion. You now become the compassionate observer, letting the thoughts arise without judgment, which immediately extinguishes the very thoughts that are causing your suffering. As these thoughts are observed, and extinguished, a spaciousness begins to occur, a sense of Being. This is the healing process, transcending the subconscious memory of past trauma, which only arise as thoughts, that's all. The compassionate observer is present awareness, ascending ever closer to pure presence, The Self, Sat Chit Ananda, Being Consciousness Bliss.